On the fence

As I lay here in bed, I can’t stop thinking about what I really want. I want to learn to be single and alone because I know that I can’t ever truly love anyone else if I don’t love myself. However, on the other hand I really enjoy the company of a certain person I have been hanging out with lately. I know in my heart it’s too soon after my last relationship to even think about starting a new one. Also, I was just starting to truly adjust to the idea of living alone. I like the solitude at times and I enjoy how productive I have been. I also have seen a huge difference in my happiness. Living alone gets sad and lonely at times but it’s also liberating and enlightening. Should I tell this new friend that I can’t continue to see them, or should I keep them around just as nothing more than a friend? My biggest fear is that I will grow feelings for this person simply because I’m alone and sad from a break up, when really, I should be working on the feelings I have for myself. He is so sweet and funny and makes me laugh but that doesn’t make it right. So confused….not to mention I will hopefully be moving soon and getting feelings for another person will only make things harder!! Ugh 😑 life…


3 thoughts on “On the fence

  1. Well I don’t think it’s too soon.
    Being with someone will help you get over all this. On the other hand, being alone & embracing solitude won’t let you move on easily. This is what I think.
    Maybe it’s a golden chance offered by life. Just think before taking any decision.

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