I have decided that this guy is just not worth the emotions and effort. I need to focus on me and quit worrying about other bull shit. He is an awesome guy but he’s also difficult and has a lot going on in his life. I think that with my current situation I just need to be alone. I have really never been happy with being alone. I want to know what that feels like so badly. People who live alone and do their own thing are strong individuals and I need that in my life. I’m tired of being weak and depending on other people to make me happy. I know I’m on a rant today so I apologize I just have a lot of emotions in my mind right now. It’s nice to be able to get them out here. It’s crazy how I can be so focused on myself one day and then after a couple days with somebody I got off track. This tells me something. It tells me that I’m absolutely codependent right now and I’m ready to be INDEPENDENT for once in my life. I don’t need a males attention to make me appreciate myself. I’m the only person I need to make me happy, at least that’s what I’m telling myself. I can do this.